HotTwo women are walking down a street in New York city, on an extremely hot day.
- I almost can't stand it, one woman replied. I wonder if it would be cooler if we took off our underwear.
Two blocks later, they are still pondering the thought of removing their underwear.
A couple of blocks later, they glance across a street and notice a big black woman sitting on her porch, legs spread open, no underwear and eating a huge watermelon.
They walk across the street and approach the woman.
The black woman replies: - I don't know if it's any coola, but iz sure keep dem flies off my watermelon
Permanent erectionThere once was a man with a permanent erection. Try as he might, he couldn't get it to go down.
Finally he went to his local pharmacy, where he encountered a female pharmacist.
The woman replied: - I'm a professional. I run this pharmacy with my sister, who is also a professional. Anything you can tell a man, you can tell us.
- Ok, he said. I have a permanent erection. What can you give me for it?
- Hmmm, she replied. I'll go into the back and confer with my sister.
After a minute, she returned to the counter and said. - We'll give you $25,000 and half the business.
Jed and LukeA pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door.
When the farmer answers, she says to him:
- Well, drawls the farmer. You can stay here, but I don't want you meson' with my sons Jed and Luke.
She looks through the screen door and sees two men standing the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. - Okay, she says.
After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little hot just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says:
They say: - Huh?
She says: - The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers.
Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth.
Jed says: -Luke?
- Well, do you care if she gets pregnant? asks Jed.
- Nope, says Luke. - I reckon not.
- Me, neither, says Jed. - Let's take these things off.
Valheen syntiPastori lopetti saarnansa kertoen seuraavan sunnuntain saarnassaan käsittelevänsä valheen syntiä. Sitä varten hän kehotti kaikkia lukemaan ennalta Markuksen evankeliumin 17. luvun.
Seuraavana sunnuntaina hän kysyi saarnansa aluksi ketkä ovat lukeneet Markuksen evankeliumin 17. luvun. Noin puolet seurakuntalaisista nosti kätensä.
- Teille minun pitääkin puhua. Markuksen evankeliumissa on vain 16 lukua.
Aiempien viikkojen vitsit voit lukea täältä.